19. The Alchemy of Gratitude
Just the word “Gratitude” can elicit an eye roll. When some well-meaning friend says “count your blessings,” in impossible moments, it can feel more like they are tossing you a pint of ice-cream to smear on an open wound. It can be annoying and irritating when someone intercepts our feelings with a platitude when we are angry, scared, putting out a blazing fire, or on the edge of erupting into tears.
Phrases like “count your blessings” or “be grateful” have a bad rap and can feel trite and annoying, like a smiley face emoji, but there is a reason that things become clichés: it’s because they work. Counting our blessings and being grateful is a spiritual practice that can be practiced any time and there is now science to back up how practicing gratitude can benefit our[…]”

“The thing about gratitude is that it is alchemistic. It changes our mental and emotional state suddenly.

One of the alchemistic features of gratitude is that we can’t feel grateful and resentful, angry, annoyed, or scared at the same time. Gratitude is a lot like laughter, it takes over”
“and changes things, like a red sock thrown into a load of white t-shirts.”
“Gratitude Grenade
Practice being grateful for the entire day:

Focus on everything you love about your partner, your child, your job, your neighbor. Thank everything, every red traffic light that keeps you safe, the water flowing from your tap, the light that magically turns on because you flipped a switch, the hot shower, the internet, oh wow, a cell phone? amazing! on and on and on, and feel your moment, your body, your day change as you fill it up with appreciation.”

21. Friendship
“When friendships are real, they are not glass threads or frost work, but the solidest things we can know.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

“We need people. We need community and confidants. We need to be understood and to feel connected. No man is an island, and no man should be. Loneliness has such far-reaching consequences that the health impact is comparable to smoking up to fifteen cigarettes a day, according to one study published in the journal PLOS Medicine. Loneliness is associated with an increased risk of heart disease, depression, and cognitive decline.”

Friendship is a hand on your shoulder, and sometimes, its two hands folded in prayer. Friendship is an out of the blue soul quake of laughter that only the laughing understand. It is a wide, whole-hearted hug. It is an angel’s breath on the back of your neck whispering, “Yes, you can.” It fiercely keeps your secrets in the vault and stands loyal and tall. Friendship is an altar where you lay down your truth and your broken parts and says, “I love you, or “Me too.”
Friendship finds you where you are but doesn’t leave you where it found you, it takes your hand and sets you down on higher ground. It holds up a mirror but sees you in the perfect light. It lets you “ugly cry” and says “no” when you ask if your life makes you look fat. It reminds you of your dream and talks you out of quitting. It cheers you on from the sidelines and the bleachers and is there at the finish line with a smile “doesn’t brace itself; it sparkles like champagne, open-armed. It admits when it is wrong and can’t stand one day of being mad at you and will drive across town to make things right. It fights with you and for you.

A friend is a rare treasure that holds your hand and doesn’t ask what they can do. It just shows up at the door with the casserole and flowers.”

Excerpts From: What If It All Goes Right? Practicing Hope in the Hardest Times